This morning I want to talk about "The What If's".
It seems that I have developed a big ole case of them.
And they have been robbing me of sleep and of joy.
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The past several nights, I have been awakened in the middle of the night with feelings of dread.
My dreams have been sad.
I am not liking this.
I strongly suspect that the triggering event for this case of "The What If's" is daddy's recent injury and the surgery that is scheduled for tomorrow.
Now let me get a few things on the table regarding this issue:.
1. I am not exactly worried that daddy will die during the surgery. That's not it.
-Daddy is a baptized believer who loves the Lord and Served HIM well.
-His reward will be heaven.
-And if he dies during surgery, then yes there will be sadness, but there will
also be rejoicing.
-If FAITH is as it SHOULD be in our lives, there is ALWAYS an element of
rejoicing when a Saint Goes Home.
No the issue is not IF he dies...
2. The issue is that whether he lives OR dies...my parents are almost beyond being
able to tend to themselves any longer.
-And though I know that they need to be in Assisted Living, and they have
indeed already selected the place that they ultimately want to go to...they do
not think its time yet.
-How do I look my dad in the eyes and say:
-The moment I do that I take on the weight of their lives.
-Their independence it strongly linked to MY independence.
-If they can't live by themselves any more, then I need to step up and become
3. But there is more.
I think the BIGGEST issue here is this:
-I have never done this before.
-I don't know HOW to do this.
-In order to protect them, I have to take away their independence and
-They will feel threatened and embarrassed about being told that they are
incapable of living on their own any longer.
And though intellectually I KNOW it is the right thing to do, I don't want to be the BAD GUY in their eyes!!!
What if I am not ready for that?
Bottom Line: I have never in my life exacted MY WILL over my Parents Will...and the notion of doing so just rips my heart out.
Yes..."The What If's" that I am experiencing are really and significantly troubling me.
And unfortunately I have allowed "the evil one" to conjure the worst case scenarios in my mind.
I need to claim some scriptures this morning because they are the best "What If" busters I know of:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Ephesians 6:3
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
Thanks for listening folks.
I know that some of you have been in the same situation too.
It's just hard isn't it!
Yet I know that The Lord will see our family through this time. '
And I am praying that HE prepares my parents' hearts & minds, gives me the right words, and has me speak those words at JUST the Right Time.
Heavenly Father, I SUBMIT to your will in this matter
...please lead me to do what is right in YOUR EYES.